Detachment is neither kind or unkind. It does not imply judgement or condemnation of the person or situation from which were are detaching. Separating ourselves from the adverse effects of another person’s addictions or behaviour can be a means of detaching: this does not necessarily require physical separation. Detachment can help us look at our situations realistically and objectively.
Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another’s behaviour and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a power greater than ourselves. We can still love the person without liking the behaviour.
Do you suffer because of the actions or reactions of others?
Do you allow yourself to be used or abused by others in the interest of another’s recovery?
Do you do for others what they can do for themselves?
Do you manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink or behave as you see fit?
Do you cover up for another’s mistakes or misdeeds?
Do you create a crisis?
Do you prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events?
By learning to focus on ourselves, our attitudes and well-being improve. We allow the people in our lives to experience the consequences of their own actions.
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