Failure! (what is it really) #460

I woke up this morning and I felt like a failure for a few minutes. Have you ever experienced that? What’s at the source of that? Lately, I have had a bad leg and at the time I was experiencing being a failure it was throbbing. My cracked ribs were hurting, my big toes are burning. I got on the scale and was hoping I was down a few pounds and the scale read I was up two pounds Ugh!. I had company over the weekend when I wasn’t home and when I walked into my kitchen my favourite teapot and a few others things were nowhere in sight-. Then I had a thought I now have to have a conversation with my daughter. We had a big disagreement the day before. Here we go again! So overall when I looked at my life I experienced being a failure. Was this true? No, but it sure felt like it at that moment.

One definition of failure is

Lack of success when someone doesn’t do something expected. A situation where something stops working correctly.

We rarely look at failure that way, We look at “we are a failure” I was surprised that I looked at myself that way.

I lead this powerful course called RYP RECLAIM YOUR POWER. In the course we look at the disempowering conversations we have that stop us in life.

A “Disempowering Conversation” is something you say that diminishes your personal sense of power, confidence,
self-worth or effectiveness. Every time you make yourself, someone else or something else “wrong” you are
having a disempowering conversation.
Most disempowering conversations take place inside your head; they are thoughts or internal dialogues.
Usually, you are not aware of them. As a result, it is impossible for you to take action to overcome them. The
first step towards turning them around and reclaiming your power is to become aware of them.

I started looking at those conversations I woke up into. I may not be able to stop conversations popping into my head but I can choose how long they stay there. First I have to distinguish what I’m saying to myself. If the conversations are not pulling me to live a great life I can create another intention to live my day. Whatever we focus on manifests. I am not willing to manifest failure today.

I invite you to look at where you manifest failure? Take a look at your four quadrants of life. Health and Wellbeing, Business and Finances. Home and environment and Relationships/spiritual

I want the definition of failure to be

I failed to be effective in the area I wanted to be effective in. For example, I wanted to release two pounds and I was not effective I failed in producing that result.

Failure can be a good thing. In my sixty’s I have failed a lot. I have also succeeded a lot.. Those failures have made me very wise.

Failure is part of life. If you don’t fail you don’t learn. If you don’t learn you will never grow and change. We should really encourage our children to fail. I know one of my friend’s fathers asked each of his four children where they failed each day. He asked that because he wanted his children to try new things and experiment. He praised them for their failures. They are not afraid to fail. Now as adults they are incredibly successful.

One thing I admire about myself is I have not failed to pick myself up-shake myself off and try again and again until I achieved what I wanted. I kept going and still do.

Failure can teach us what we need to learn, Let’s say you fail on a test. The passing mark is 80 you get 60. This teaches you that you only know 60 percent there is another 20 percent to go. That’s all a test means. You are not knowledgeable enough yet. Keep studying and you will get there.

Are you committed to passing, then study some more. If you are not then be honest with yourself.

A neighbour was learning English so he could become a Canadian Citizen, He had done the tests numerous times and felt like a failure. he was getting discouraged. When I explained he wasn’t a failure. He just needed to know a bit more. I said are you committed to being a Canadian Citizen, he said yes. Then I said so who cares how many times you try. Just keep going for it. He passed the next time. When he realized he wasn’t a failure, he had just failed to learn what he needed to learn. His new mindset set him free.

You want to look at where you are failing to achieve what you say you want in each quadrant. Then look at are you really committed to causing that? If you are, what new actions could you take to become more effective ;

Failing teaches us what we don’t know so we can learn what we need to learn so we can be more effective.

Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?
Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?
Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)
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Anything that is said on this podcast and anything said before or after are from my views only.
Thanks for Listening!

Wendy B
I support women when facing adversity to Reclaim Their Power bringing them more clarity, confidence, and joy. Also, I share my 40 years of experience of being a successful entrepreneur while raising two children who are now adults.
https://Wendybergen.com

Wendy Bergen
International renowned Transformational Solution Coach, Author

Motivational Speaker, podcaster: Thriving at Sixty

Certified Reclaim Your Power (RYP) Workshop, Leader
Transformational Coach transforming your perception of yourself and others one conversation at a time
.

Best selling Author of “Getting Unstuck,” 30 Ways to turn YOUR limiting barriers into clarity, freedom and power

Dare, Dream, Dance, Smile, and Sing Loudly!

Confidence is key, once you have that you are an UNSTOPPABLE FORCE!

Keep THRIVING! AND LET’S GET YOU UNSTUCK and have you THRIVE!
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