What keeps Us in Conflict! 412


To come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash:


A particular manner of looking at something

The biggest thing that keeps conflict alive is when we have a point of view and we don’t give room for other people’s points of view. If we come from I’m RIGHT and YOU are WRONG that will keep conflict alive and there will be a predictable outcome to that.

You need to ask yourself am I willing to give up being right even if I am right and come from work ability? Whats gong to work here?

When we are discussing rather than accusing we need to watch our tone of voice because our tone can cause conflict.

How we deal with the conflict can keep the conflict alive. When conflict arises its important to keep our voice low. When our voices rise, emotions rise and intelligence goes out the window.

In conflict you both could be right. Where are you going to compromise? Where are you going to bring work ability? Discuss rather than accuse. Look at what is your Intention here? If your intention is to come from I’m RIGHT you are WRONG, STOP. End it now. Take a time out. Ask yourself this question, do you want to resolve this conflict? You need to bring work ability to both sides. Ask yourselves whats working here? Whats not working here? What can we agree on? Are we willing o really listen to each other.

When we say we are listening. Are we really listening like we are in their shoes? Or are we listening so we can get our two cents in? If your emotions are so high you can’t listen declare a time out with a commitment to getting back together by a certain time. Request you both go for coaching so that when you get back you can at least have a chance of resolving the issue.If it can’t get resolved on your own be willing to call in a mediator.

Ask yourself are you being right or are you bringing work ability to the situation?

Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?

Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go that way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others.

Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is  not useful! (wendy b)

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Anything that is said on this podcast and any before or after are from my views only.

Thanks for Listening!


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