Being Positive Doesn’t Mean You Won’t Have Negative Thoughts #469

It just means you don’t let negative thoughts control your life. I am one of five people certified to Lead a course “Reclaim Your Power” we lead it all over the world, on zoom and in person. This June we celebrated our 10-year anniversary. Shawn Bearman created this course. Shawn wanted as many people as possible so she allowed people to do the course for free if they brought two others to do the course. Shawn wanted people to reclaim their power and not be stuck with their disempowering conversations. It’s a course where we discover our hidden and not-so-hidden disempowering conversations.

Discovering your disempowering conversations gives you some access to interrupt those conversations and create new conversations. That will give you access to your power.

When we distinguish our disempowering conversations, people are frequently surprised. They say things like “why would I say something about myself that diminishes my sense of power, confidence and self-worth?” People are frequently not aware of their disempowering conversations. Words create our world. We all say and speak disempowering conversations, whether it’s about ourselves, others or about places or things.

Here are some examples of disempowering conversations, remember there are many more and this is just an example.

Anything you say about yourself that starts with

I should do this – I should do that, they should do this, they should do that

I’m stupid, I’m not smart enough

Why can’t I (do, have or be)

Things you say about others

People are phoney, People are untrustworthy

Other people can’t be trusted, People always let you down, People never

Are you getting my drift?

I’m discovering as a leader how often I do have disempowering conversations. I recently had a difference with my landlord and I certainly had disempowering conversations about myself and others.

I recently applied to see if I qualified to get a bank mortgage. I am an entrepreneur and earn my income from many sources. I had disempowering conversations about myself and others when I found out the bank won’t touch me. Not because I don’t have a great credit rating, and not even because of my income. But because I have many sources of income they prefer not to loan me monies. They suggested I go private. I can and that would be at double the interest rates of the bank. I had some pretty disempowering conversations. The thing that gave me access to my power was noticing my disempowering conversations. Then being willing to be vulnerable and share them with my committed listeners so that I was not stuck in the disempowering conversations I had made up. Once I shared them, I had access to my power.

I’m inviting you to look at where do you have disempowering conversations? When you look at the four quadrants of your life.,

Business & Finances, Health and wellbeing, Home and environment, Relationships including spiritual, personal, family, business, etc.

examples of disempowering conversations I have around the business. I should be doing better. Younger people are quicker and smarter. If they only knew what I was up to, they would know I’m a farce.

Around health and wellbeing. I should weigh 20 pounds less. I shouldn’t be having this rib problem.

It’s not bad to have a disempowering conversation. We all have them. Our access to our power is discovering we have disempowering conversations and to create conversations to interrupt them. We don’t have to stay there and have those conversations rule our life.

Another example of disempowering conversations about our home and environment is

I’m not a good house cleaner, I’m not creative enough, I’m not organized enough

Examples of disempowering conversations around relationships

I should not be afraid to date. I should have the dating thing figured out by now. If there were 100 men to pick from, I would pick the one that wouldn’t work.

Your access to free yourself of these disempowering conversations is first to notice them. Then share with a safe accountability partner who won’t buy your disempowerment. They will listen and invite you to look at the reality of what you are saying about places, people and things.

If you listen to this podcast, I share what I have been dealing with pertaining to the landlord. I had lots of disempowering conversations about him and the tenants upstairs. The thing that gave me access to my power was knowing I was having disempowering conversations. Until I shared with safe people that I was disempowered, I had no access to my power. Then I brought a commitment to gain access to my power. After sharing we came up with an action plan that would take care of me and my landlord. I also shared about my disempowering conversations around getting a mortgage. I was able to share I was embarrassed that at my age I was in the situation I was in. Until I took the conversations out of my head I had no access to my power. When I took it out of my head with a commitment to access my power, again I created action plans that would allow me to buy a property.

People who know me, say I am like an energizer bunny. They tell me I keep positive and keep going. I tell them my access to that kind of power is many things. One, having an accountability partner that is safe for me, that helps me work through my disempowering conversations and who supports me in not staying there for longer than a few min.

I still have negative thoughts, I just don’t have them run me.

If you notice you are having disempowering conversations, you will because you are a human being. Know this, there is always a solution. Share – engage- interrupt, have an accountability partner and keep going. Only then can you take positive actions to create solutions.

Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?
Ask yourself are your actions and speaking are in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?
Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)
I want to personally hear about your dreams and goals.  I will give you one amazing tip that will help you out.  I give a complimentary discovery session to people who let me know they left a five-star rating for this podcast and provide their user name on iTunes, google plus, blubrry the podcast providers I use.  Just hit the button subscribe to my podcast and rate it a number 5.!
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Anything that is said on this podcast and anything said before or after are from my views only.
Thanks for Listening!

Wendy B
I support women when facing adversity to Reclaim Their Power bringing them more clarity, confidence, and joy. Also, I share my 40 years of experience of being a successful entrepreneur while raising two children who are now adults.

Wendy Bergen
International renowned Transformational Solution Coach, Author

Motivational Speaker, podcaster: Thriving at Sixty

Certified Reclaim Your Power (RYP) Workshop, Leader
Transformational Coach transforming your perception of yourself and others one conversation at a time

Best selling Author of “Getting Unstuck,” 30 Ways to turn YOUR limiting barriers into clarity, freedom and power

Dare, Dream, Dance, Smile, and Sing Loudly!

Confidence is key, once you have that you are an UNSTOPPABLE FORCE!

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