There are 7 Deadly Emotions of Caregiving
Caregiver guilt is an especially corrosive emotion because you are beating yourself up over faults that are imagined. unavoidable – or simple humane. that’s counterproductive at a time when you need to be your own best advocate..
Risks of resentment: Without enough support or noncaregiving outlets, feelings of being ignored, abandoned, or criticized can fester into anger and depression.
What causes anger: We get mad for reasons both direct (a balky loved one, an unfair criticism, one too many mishaps in a day) and indirect (lack of sleep, frustration over lack of control, pent-up disappointment)
What causes worry: Good intentions love, and wanting the best for your loved ones are the wellsprings of worry. Focusing intensely on the what-ifs provides a perverse kind of comfort to the brain. If we are worrying we are engaged. Of course, that ultimately triggers more worry and u[set because it is engagement without accomplishing anything,
What causes loneliness: Friends may back away out of uncertainty or a belief they are not wanted. Intense time demands lead you to drop out of outside activities. If you are dealing with dementia, the loss of your loved ones former level of companionship is another keenly felt social loss adding to isolation.
What causes Grief: Although most people link grief with death, anticipatory grief is a similar emotion felt by caregivers who are coping with a loved one’s long-term chronic illness, especially when there are clear loses of ability (as in dementia) or when the diagnosis is almost certainly terminal.
Protecting yourself is good – to a point
What causes defensiveness: When you are doing so much, its only natural to bristle at suggestions that there ight be different or better approaches. Especially if you are feeling stressed, insecure, or unsure, hearing comments or criticisms by others, or reading information that is contrary to your views can inspire knee-jerk response of self-protection: “I’m right/ that’s wrong!”
Go for it! I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out! What do you want them to say about you?
Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted? Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go that way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others? What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others.
Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)
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