There are numerous things to give up to be happy. Here is a list of only nine things to give up to be happy.
- Limiting Beliefs
- Blaming Others
- Negative Self-talk
- Dwelling on the Past
- Resistance to Change
- The need to impress others
- The need to be always right
- The need for others approval
Two weeks ago we talked about 1 Complaining. Last week we covered 2. Limiting Beliefs, 3 blaming others, 4 negative self-talk.
This week we will discuss #5 Giving up dwelling in the past #6 Giving up Resisting Change #7 Giving up the need to impress others.
#5 Giving up Dwelling in the Past.
We need to speak about the past with a commitment to letting the past go. Rehashing old stuff has you stuck in the past not moving forward. If you were traumatized then go to a specialist who deals in that area. Get complete. There are particular questions to ask to get complete. You can book a complimentary session, my gift to you. I will walk you through the exercise My commitment is you get free of the past so you can have space to move forward and create new beginnings. When you stay in the past you become a victim of the past. Rehashing old stories without getting complete causes you to resent the situation or people all over again. I was a victim of sexual abuse, beaten, etc from age two on. I left home at 15 to save my life. I bottled up all that anger, relieving the unfairness. It kept me stuck. Until I was willing to do the hard work and move on, I repeatedly was stuck as a victim. I have been free since my early thirties. It took hard work and I continually do growth work to make sure the past stays in the past where it belongs. You can too. Today once something happens it is the past. why let people live rent-free in your brain taking up space, Learn those four questions to get complete so you can be free moment by moment. I’m not saying it’s easy, but with practice, it becomes a daily habit to be free and complete to start new, daily. I promise that is real freedom.
#6 Give up Resisting Change. I constantly resist change. When I’m grocery shopping at my local supermarket, if they change where they normally put the tea I get annoyed. I like things comfortable and familiar. Ha! have you ever heard of the saying whatever you resist persists? God will keep giving you the same problem over and over until you have learned the lesson. If you are in business you need to learn different social media or at least hire someone to do it for you. I resisted doing facebook lives, now with practice, it’s become natural to do a Facebook live every Sunday at twelve noon unless I’m leading or have another workshop. Same with my podcasting, when I first started the first 100 were pretty rocky, now no problem. I still get nervous and I do it anyway. In today’s fast-paced world you need to embrace change if you want a successful business. You don’t have to know how to do something perfectly. Create a support group around you and go for it. I’m in my sixties. I wasn’t raised with all this technical stuff and I’m doing it. I even hired an awesome virtual assistant so she can teach this old dog new tricks and she can do stuff a lot faster than I. It’s a great investment of my time to get her to do a lot of my technical work for me. Where are you resisting? Is it holding you back from being more effective? What could you do to shift that? What new action are you going to take after listening to this podcast that will move you forward? I talk about this in Chapter 13 of my best selling Book “Getting Unstuck” by Wendy Bergen on Amazon
#7 Give up the need to impress others. Where in your life are you trying to impress others? Does it stop you from taking effective actions to move you forward? The other day my daughter and I were house hunting. I was dressed smartly but casually. My daughter said mom you are not going out in that outfit are you? I said yes I am. She dressed in a suit. high heels etc. She said mom I want to make an impression. I said if we are meant to get the house we will. I’m dressed fine. What you think of me is none of my business. I’m not going to please everyone. I need to be true to myself and my values. I ask, are these people you are trying to impress are they paying your bills? Do they have your best interest at heart. Be yourself. Show up do the best you can, that is all that is required. If you are trying something new, you will not get it perfect the first, second, third maybe up to 100 times. With practice, you will improve that I can promise. I talk about this in Chapter 28 of my best selling Book “Getting Unstuck” by Wendy Bergen on Amazon
Go for it! I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out! What do you want them to say about you?
Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted? Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others? What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?
Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)
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Keep THRIVING! AND LET’S GET YOU UNSTUCK and have you THRIVE!
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