5 Keys To Healthier Communication #450

Have you ever realized that maybe you could use some more tools in communicating with loved ones? I constantly am looking for methods to better my communication. Especially with my two daughters. Sometimes I think they come from Mars and I come from Jupiter. Ha!

I read this awesome book in Al-Anon called “The Dilemma of the acholic marriage”. If you have not read it, it is a very packed-filled book that you can use in almost any situation where there is a breakdown in communication. I have been in Al-Anon for over thirty years, This book is worth getting.

  1. Discuss don’t attack
  2. Keep the Voice Low and Pleasant
  3. Stick to the Subject
  4. Listen to Thier Complaints
  5. Don’t make Demands

Have you ever caught yourself making accusations? The person immediately gets on the defensive and doesn’t hear a word you say. I know it’s hard when your emotions are running high but it does not work to attack even if you are right. I have a very hard time keeping my voice low and pleasant. I’m a straight shooter. What frequently gets in my way is my tone and my righteousness. Even if I’m not righteous my intense way of speaking can sometimes get people’s hackles up.

Have you ever been around someone who deflects things? You are talking about one thing and they bring up what you did to them when they were thirteen. It’s a really good method how to deflect and not take any responsibility for what’s happening right now.

Sometimes we don’t want to listen to their complaints. If we listen with an open mind we might hear what we need to hear and expand and grow. It can be painful when a person younger than you can teach you a lesson. Be grateful they were put in your path for a reason. My four and half year old granddaughter keeps me humble.

When someone demands I do something, I automatically get my hackles up don’t you? So how do you think it feels for the other person you are making a demand of.

These rules are simple Yes? They also can be very challenging to follow. I hope they help you as much as they continue to help me.

Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?
Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?
Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)
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Wendy B
I support women when facing adversity to Reclaim Their Power bringing them more clarity, confidence, and joy. Also, I share my 40 years of experience of being a successful entrepreneur while raising two children who are now adults.
https://Wendybergen.com

Wendy Bergen
International renowned Transformational Solution Coach, Author

Motivational Speaker, podcaster: Thriving at Sixty

Certified Reclaim Your Power (RYP) Workshop, Leader
Transformational Coach transforming your perception of yourself and others one conversation at a time
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