of, showing, or expressing anticipation
Keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss: sharp sorrow; painful regret
Definition refers to a grief reaction that occurs before an impending loss. Typically the impending loss is a death of someone due to an illness, but it can also be experienced by dying individuals themselves. Anticipatory Grieving can happen after any great loss, job, losing a house, a business and so forth.
Kubler Ross talks about the five stages of Grief and they do not have to follow any order and you can go back and forth within the five stages Grief begets grief.
How does Anticipatory Grief differ from grief after death?
Anticipatory grief often is not discussed. So people frequently find it socially unacceptable to talk about … this deep pain, so they rarely receive the support they need.
Not everyone experiences anticipatory grief and it is not good or bad if you do. Grief before death often includes anger. More loss of control. Feeling readily mixed upside down feelings. Anticipatory grief is not talked about. It is a different in-between place to be. The person has not died and may not for many years.
Anticipatory Grief is not a substitute for grief later on after death. There is not a fixed amount of time for grief. Nothing can prepare you for the actual death.
Anticipatory Grief isn’t a substitute or head start for later grieving.
Grieving before death does provide opportunities for closure ( conversations that can happen) that people who lose someone suddenly don’t have.
Though grieving, folks are able to gradually build a new sense of self. Based on the acceptance of their feelings- without negative judgments so that their feelings can be expressed and released and their internal wisdom is received. They hear their internal wisdom from working through the pain. they get a greater sense of self
The person views of themselves and the world come into a new alignment. Inner peace and Harmony.
Then the grieving can set up realistic expectations for them self and others. Freedom to be who you are and acceptance of self. New identity and more possibilities, more acceptance more clarity and there could be a spiritual renewal as well.
In the podcast Christine shares 11 different things you could look for
In closing Anticipatory grief provides an opportunity for personal growth before the end of life. It’s a way to find meaning and closure. An opportunity to reconcile differences. An opportunity to give and grant forgiveness. It’s a chance to have conversations as never before and a chance to say goodbye. Feelings of new energy that propels us to think, motivate, act differently. There is no right way to grieve. Any of the steps may be present at any one time and all or any of them over and over again.
Go for it! I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out! What do you want them to say about you?
Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted? Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go that way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others? What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others.
Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)
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