When I was a little girl, just a toddler I was taken from my home, parents, and family and put in different foster homes until I was nine. I would frequently say as an Adult I was torn from my family and raised in foster homes.
Words create our world. When I got some coaching recently, about the words I used, and those words shaped my world. Torn means I’m a victim. I was a victim of my circumstances. I had no say in the matter. Imagine waking up and finding yourself in a strange home, no mommy or daddy or your older and younger sister. They are just gone. I have a little granddaughter almost four years old. She lives with her mom through the week and I babysit her. Then her dad usually has her on weekends. This is routine for her. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for her if the routine was taken away, she never got a say and was raised with strangers.
My experience was I was terrified, confused, uncertain. I felt I had no voice. I didn’t matter. What I wanted didn’t count.
My coach got me to look at the whats so of the situatiion
The reality was, I was taken from my home and put into another home with strangers. I didn’t understand why and made up a lot of things about myself and others. I started living my life from all those conversations I made up about myself, about others. You can not trust adults. I can’t have what I want. Life is tough and scary. Those conversations shaped me and I took action from those conversations. Life occurred for me as not safe, you can’t trust anybody and I personally can’t have what I want. When I look back over my life I see a pattern that I had never seen before. So our words shape our world. When I say I was torn I am a victim. When I say I was removed from my home and raised with strangers, something else becomes available. I don’t have to live my life from being a victim. I was victimized as a child and that doesn’t have to shape me as an adult unless I hang on to conversations that keep me victimized. Like I was traumatized, I was torn.
I ascert breaking things down into simple (what happened), takes the drama and emiton away and gives you some access to your own power. I believe it is our birth right to be successful. Pay attention to how you word things. Words shape our world. We take actions from those words. Take on be conscioous to what you are saying to yourself, to others and to the world.
Go for it! I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out! What do you want them to say about you?
Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted? Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others? What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?
Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)
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